Joy

There is no greater joy than fulfilling the vocation you were made for. Bouncing around the house with a baby on my hip and a goofy toddler splashing in the dog bowl and waving his tambourine around while dancing are what fill me with utter joy. Making dinner (well, more like looking in the fridge and determining if dinner can be made) and attempting to clean kitchen counters and throw away garbage can seem so dreary and dull at times. But, today these were the moments I've been pining for over the last month and the ones that keep making me cry with joy today.

Before Pia got sick, I missed working out of the home and wondered if there might be some opportunity out there for me to work a little more. I missed having other adults to interact with, I missed the meetings and busy-ness of working in an office, but mostly I really missed the work itself. I loved being a social worker. I loved making a difference in the lives of others, or at least trying to make a difference.

Today, I've been reflecting on how much I never want to leave this house again--metaphorically speaking. (Although, the cold weather and ungodly amount of viruses floating around have been literal deterrents this week). I used to pine for nap time or when the husband would come home so I could take a break. I was foolish. Since having to be away from Max and JD and from being a homemaker, I've grown to miss it all so much. I honestly have no idea how working moms do it. How do they withstand that yearning to be with their little ones and balance focusing on their task at hand in the job place? I have a lot of respect for you working moms out there!

I'm trying really hard today and the rest of this week to enjoy every moment before heading back to Omaha. I'm trying to not dread Monday. I'm trying to soak it all in. Before Pia got sick, I wish I had not taken those opportunities to dance around the kitchen with Max and tickle Pia and sit in front of the fireplace with JD for granted. I wish I had not wished for diffferent work. And I pray that from this day forward, that I never yearn for something diffferent but enjoy every blessed moment I have in front of me--including each day we have in the hospital to help get Pia healthy and each day at home I have to love and care for my family. For this is what I was made to do.